I don’t even know what I want for tea. · KNOWWHERE · knowwhere.net.au
Every family gathering. Every well-meaning adult. Every careers counsellor, every subject selection form, every university open day.
What do you want to do with your life?
And you are sitting there thinking — honestly? I have no idea. I can barely decide what to have for lunch. I do not know what I want to be in thirty years. I am not sure what I want to do next weekend.
Here is what nobody tells you: that is completely, entirely, utterly normal. And the pressure to have it all figured out right now is one of the most anxiety-producing things young people face — and one of the least useful.
Most people do not find their path by knowing it in advance. They find it by trying things.
Why the pressure to know is so intense — and so unhelpful
The expectation that you should know what you want to be at 16, 17 or 18 is a relatively modern phenomenon — and the research on career development suggests it is largely counterproductive.
Most adults in fulfilling careers did not map out a straight line from school to where they ended up. They tried things. Some worked. Some did not. They followed what interested them, made detours, discovered things about themselves along the way and gradually moved toward work that felt meaningful.
The people who decided at 17 exactly what they were going to be and drove single-mindedly toward it are the minority — and even many of them changed course significantly once they actually got there.
The pressure to know in advance does not produce better outcomes. It produces anxiety, premature commitment to the wrong thing, and a lot of young people feeling like they are already behind before they have even started.
What actually helps — the honest version
Instead of trying to answer the question of what you want to be, try answering some smaller questions that are actually answerable right now:
· What do I enjoy? Not what am I good at — what do I actually enjoy? What makes time disappear? What would I do even if nobody was watching? Start there.
· What am I curious about? What subjects, topics or problems genuinely interest you? What do you find yourself reading about or watching when you have a choice? Curiosity is one of the most reliable guides to direction.
· What kind of environment do I want to work in? Indoors or outdoors? With people or alone? Creative or structured? Fast or steady? These questions are much more answerable than ‘what do I want to be’ — and they narrow things down considerably.
· What do I care about? What problems in the world actually bother you? What would you want to make better if you could? Values and purpose often point toward meaningful work more reliably than skills or interests alone.
· What have I tried that I liked — or hated? Every part-time job, every school subject, every volunteer shift, every activity tells you something about yourself. What did you like about it? What did you hate? That information is genuinely useful.
The most important thing you can do right now
Try things. As many things as you can. Not to find the answer — just to gather information about yourself.
A part-time job you hate teaches you what you never want to do again. That is valuable. A subject you love tells you something about where your mind naturally goes. A volunteer role that lights you up tells you what you care about. A skill you pick up tells you what you are capable of.
None of it is wasted. All of it is data. And the more data you gather through actual experience, the clearer your direction becomes — not through deciding, but through discovering.
Try this: Write down three things you have genuinely enjoyed doing in the last year — anything at all. Then write down what specifically you enjoyed about each one. Look for patterns. That is more useful than any career quiz.
What about university, TAFE and apprenticeships?
One of the most unhelpful myths is that you have to know what you want to be before you decide what to study. In reality, studying something is one of the best ways to find out whether you actually want to do it.
And there is no single right path. University, TAFE, apprenticeships, work experience, gap years, starting a business — all of these are legitimate routes to a meaningful working life. The right one depends entirely on who you are, what you need and what you are trying to find out about yourself.
Some things worth knowing:
· You can change your degree. Many people do. Starting something is not a lifetime commitment.
· A TAFE qualification can lead to university. The pathways are more flexible than most people realise.
· An apprenticeship or traineeship gives you income, skills and qualifications simultaneously — and many lead to careers people find genuinely satisfying.
· A gap year spent deliberately — working, volunteering, travelling, trying things — can clarify your direction more than a year of study you are not ready for.
· Starting work in almost any field teaches you things about yourself that no amount of planning can.
When the not-knowing feels overwhelming
If the uncertainty about your future is causing you genuine anxiety — if it is affecting your sleep, your mood or your ability to get through the day — that is worth addressing directly. Not by finding the answer, but by getting support with the anxiety itself.
A careers counsellor can help you explore options without pressure. A psychologist or counsellor can help with the anxiety. A mentor or coach who works with young people can help you think through what you actually want.
Browse the Career & Employment and Mental Health & Wellbeing categories on KNOWWHERE to find practitioners in your area who work specifically with young Australians navigating exactly this.
You do not have to know yet. You just have to stay curious and keep trying things. The path reveals itself to the people who keep moving.